“Success isn’t about the destination; it’s about how you feel on the journey.”
For so many women, life has been about achieving the next milestone—climbing the career ladder, raising a family, checking all the boxes. But what happens when you’ve reached those goals and still feel like something’s missing in your quest for a sense of purpose?
This is where redefining success comes in. It’s not about adding more to your plate; it’s about focusing on what truly matters.
Psychologist Martin Seligman, a pioneer in positive psychology, identifies five pillars of well-being: Positive Emotion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Achievement, which can guide a life coach in helping clients find their purpose (PERMA). According to the Harvard Study of Adult Development, fulfillment happens when these elements come together, and studies show that people who prioritize meaning over external rewards report being 63% happier in their daily lives.
Yet, in the LinkedIn Workforce Confidence Survey, 74% of professionals say they feel “stuck” in their careers despite appearing successful on the outside. Why? Because they’re living by someone else’s definition of success.
I’ve been there too. I followed the path society laid out for me, step by step. Graduate high school. Check. Go to college. Check. Even my major—business management—wasn’t entirely my choice. It was decided by the subjects I excelled at in high school, even though my heart was elsewhere.
I only agreed to stick with it because I found a way to incorporate what truly lit me up: art. Over 60% of my courses were in art, and for a while, I felt like I’d found a balance.
After college, I embarked on what many would call a successful business career. Promotions came quickly, and eventually, I climbed all the way to senior vice president. By every external measure, I was thriving. But inside? I felt stuck.
The spark that had carried me through my art classes and beyond wasn’t gone—it was buried. I realized that what truly energized me wasn’t the titles or the accolades. My spark was helping others rise, empowering them to step into their own strengths and potential.
It took me 25 years to flip the script. I had to redefine what success meant to me—not what society said it should look like. Taking that leap was scary, but it was also liberating. It allowed me to focus on what truly matters and live a life aligned with my values and purpose.
Let’s explore 5 strategies to redefine success and create a life that feels deeply aligned with your heart, values, and purpose.
Strategy 1: Reflect on the Past
Start by revisiting your past accomplishments. Which ones felt deeply satisfying? Which left you feeling empty? Use journaling prompts like, “What made me feel most alive this year?” to uncover patterns that can help clients overcome obstacles in their lives.
Understanding where your fulfillment comes from helps you align future goals with your values. Reflection isn’t about dwelling on regrets—it’s about learning what truly lights you up so you can make intentional and actionable decisions moving forward.
Strategy 2: Define Success on Your Terms
Take time to create a personal definition of success that feels deeply meaningful to you and drives toward your life purpose. Ask yourself:
- What values guide my decisions?
- What strengths am I most excited to use?
- What truly lights me up?
- How do I want to feel—every day, not just at the finish line?
To make this process more tangible, combine three elements into your definition:
- Core Compass – The values and non-negotiables that ground you in your personal and professional life.
- Vision – A vivid picture of success beyond titles or numbers that aligns with your life purpose.
- Impact – The difference you want to make, whether at work, at home, or in the world.
When your definition aligns with your values, strengths, and purpose, success becomes about living authentically rather than chasing external validation.
Strategy 3: Define Your Spark Goals
Instead of pursuing what society says you should do, focus on what truly energizes you. Spark goals are about alignment and excitement—not obligation.
Ask yourself:
- What do I feel drawn to right now?
- Where do I want to make the biggest impact?
- What would I do if there were no external expectations?
Your spark goals might include building deeper relationships, exploring a creative passion, or taking on a mentorship role. They’re about moving toward joy and purpose instead of just ticking boxes.
Strategy 4: Start Saying “No” to the Wrong Things
As Brené Brown says, “Clear is kind.” Setting boundaries around your time and energy is essential to protect what matters most.
When you say no to misaligned opportunities, you create space for what truly fulfills you and allows for a more purposeful life. Think about the requests or roles that drain your energy and find ways to step back. It might feel uncomfortable initially, but every “no” is an investment in your future happiness.
Raising four boys kept me incredibly busy over the years. I loved being involved in their lives—field trips, school events, and all the activities that come with parenting. But as I climbed the corporate ladder, I felt the weight of my commitments pulling me in a different direction.
The higher I rose, the harder it became to say yes to those moments with my boys. Work demands increased, and I started missing more of the moments that mattered most.
Then, I stumbled across a quote that stopped me in my tracks: “The only people who will remember how many hours you put in at work are your kids.”
That hit me hard. I realized I had been saying no to the wrong things. While my work was meaningful and important, my family would always be more important.
That perspective shift forced me to rethink my approach to achieving a more purposeful life. I started setting boundaries at work, delegating more, and rebalancing my workload. It wasn’t easy, but it allowed me to say yes to the things that truly aligned with my values—and to be present for the moments that I’ll never get back.
Strategy 5: Prioritize Small Moments of Joy
Success doesn’t have to be tied to huge achievements. Sometimes, it’s the little things that make the biggest difference. Add small, joyful activities to your daily life—whether it’s a walk, coffee with a friend, or revisiting a long-forgotten hobby.
These moments create positive emotions and bring balance to your day, aligning with the PERMA model’s emphasis on well-being. When you intentionally prioritize joy, you create a foundation for long-term fulfillment.
Ready to Redefine Success?
Success isn’t about living someone else’s dream; it’s about creating a life that feels deeply aligned with your heart, values, and purpose.
Take the first step today. Download your free Redefine Success Workbook and start crafting a version of success that works for you.
Because you don’t have to settle for someone else’s story or what society is placing on you—this is your chance to flip the script and find your spark.
If you want to flip your script book a free session with me today: Click Here >
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