I have a holiday confession.
I have felt like the Grinch this year.
Not because I hate Christmas. I love the season. I love lights, traditions, cozy nights, and the kind of magic that makes you slow down and remember what matters.
But this year I struggled to get in the mood, and I finally realized why: it is the first year my kids will not be at my house on actual Christmas Day.
Logically, I know it is normal. My kids are 28 and 29 with their own families and traditions. This is what we want for them. This is healthy.
And still, it can feel weird.
If you have ever had your brain saying “this is fine” while your heart says “I’m not fine,” you are not alone. Holiday seasons are full of transition, pressure, and expectations. Even good transitions come with feelings.
That is why I want to share a concept that has helped me and the women I coach: the Minimum Viable Holiday.
What is a Minimum Viable Holiday?
In business, a minimum viable product is the simplest version that still delivers value. Not flashy. Not extra. Just effective.
A Minimum Viable Holiday is the simplest version of the season that still honors what matters most to you.
Not what social media says you should do.
Not what your extended family expects.
Not what you did when everyone lived under one roof.
Not what you think proves you are a good mom, partner, daughter, friend, or leader.
This is your “good enough, meaningful, not exhausting” holiday plan.
Because when the season feels heavy, doing more rarely creates more joy. It often creates more resentment. And resentment is basically the Grinch’s love language, so we are not doing that.
Instead, we simplify with intention.
The 3-Step Minimum Viable Holiday Framework
Here is the plan. Three steps. Simple enough to use, strong enough to change your season.
Step 1: Pick three holiday values
Values are your compass. They help you decide what stays and what goes.
Think of your holiday like a suitcase. You only have so much space. Your values decide what gets packed and what gets left behind.
Choose three values that matter to you this year. Examples:
- Connection
- Rest
- Simplicity
- Faith
- Fun
- Presence
- Meaning
- Tradition
- Calm
My three this year are connection, rest, and meaning.
Then define them.
Connection means I do not just want to be around people. I want to feel connected.
Rest means I do not want to arrive at Christmas exhausted.
Meaning means I want moments that feel real, not a blur of errands and expectations.
Also, notice what is not on the list: perfection. Perfection is not a value. It is a symptom.
Step 2: Choose two non-negotiables that protect your values
Non-negotiables are boundaries you can actually keep. They protect your energy and help you show up as the version of you that you like.
Examples:
- No commitments after 8:00 p.m.
- One day each weekend with no errands
- Gifts for immediate family only
- No hosting this year
- A 15-minute reset before gatherings
If your brain is whispering “but if I don’t do it, who will,” let me lovingly say this: that sentence is how the Grinch is born.
Non-negotiables are not selfish. They are protective.
Mine:
- One evening each week with zero obligations
- A hard stop on extra gifts that do not align with meaning
Step 3: Pick one show up moment
This is your anchor. One thing you will do fully present.
Not five. Not ten. One.
Your show up moment could be:
- Christmas Eve dinner
- Baking cookies
- Driving around to see lights
- A church service
- A movie night
- A hot chocolate ritual
- A smaller gathering where you stay fully present
Put your phone away. Stop multitasking. Release the need for perfection. Be there.
Every part of the season cannot be extra special, but you can make one moment special on purpose.
The story that brought my Christmas spirit back
This year, the spirit did not hit me because the decorations were perfect. It hit me because of the ornaments.
My mom started a tradition the year I was born: every year, she gave us an ornament in our stocking. One ornament, every year. Without realizing it, she was building a timeline of our life.
I carried that tradition forward with my kids. So when they got their first Christmas trees, they each had 20-plus ornaments ready to go, already filled with memories.
When my husband and I decorated our tree, we found ourselves laughing at ornaments and remembering what happened that year. We remembered Christmas mornings, wrapping paper “wars,” games we play, traditional meals, and all the joy in the middle of the messy, loud, beautiful years.
That is when the spirit hit me.
Not because I finally did enough. Because I remembered what mattered.
If you are struggling to feel it this year, you might not need more effort. You might need one meaningful anchor.
How to communicate your Minimum Viable Holiday
Here are boundary scripts you can borrow, no long explanation required.
- “This year we are keeping things simple. Here’s what we are doing.”
- “We can be there from 2 to 4, and we are looking forward to it.”
- “I love you, and I’m not available for that this year.”
- “I hear you, and this is what works for us this year.”
Guilt often means you are breaking a pattern, not breaking a promise.
Your challenge
Before you go, do this:
- Choose your three values
- Set your two non-negotiables
- Pick your one show up moment
Then do one small action today that supports your plan. Send the text. Remove an obligation. Block a reset on your calendar. Buy fewer gifts. Take the walk.
Peace is not found. Peace is designed.
And if you are feeling like the Grinch this year, it does not mean you are failing. It means you are in a transition. You can honor the past and still build something beautiful for the season you are in now.
If you want the simple one-page worksheet for this framework, grab it here: [link]
If you know someone who is one Target run away from losing it, send them the episode.
